Financial Advice for Bush Little

I'm concerned for the financial health of Fearless Leader, to the point of offering him some unsolicted financial advice. As many of your are probably aware, Bush Little has been self-employed most of his adult life, running several oil-related businesses into the ground, losing in his initial foray into the family business of politics, and snorting or drinking up most of the money he was able to scam--er, earn. It was not until the early 1990s that through the dint of the efforts of family friends that he was able to utilize his family's political connections (remember, when Bush I was his eminence) to gain the gift of a minor share of a baseball team, the Texas Rangers.

From this modest start, Bush Little was able to blackmail taxpayers in Arlington, Texas, to build a publicly financed stadium for the team by threatening to move it, and no longer allow fans to pay big money for the privilege of seeing the team lose more often than not. On top of this success, Bush Little and partners were able to find some dumbf*ck with too much money to wildly overspend to purchase this albatross. After paying back his "loan," Bush Little escaped with a nice little nest egg, and move back into the family business.

Upon being selected by the Supreme Court to be President, Bush Little placed his nest egg in what he assumed was a safe investment, Treasury notes. Just like the Social Security Trust Fund. Now President Bush Little jets around the country telling screened and hand-picked audiences that there is no trust fund, that by 2018--or at worst, by 2020 (well, okay it might be even a little bit later)--the system will be bankrupt, busted, broke. President George P. Bush (not a prediction, just a fact) will by then be reduced to selling apples on the street corner to finance our military occupation of Iraq. The point of all this being, Bush Little's nest egg is in the same sad shape as the Trust Fund. A worthless IOU that his government has no intention of honoring.

Maybe George P. can find him a good corner.